Really Bad Book Covers

Totally judging books by their cover.

Hey, you wrote that book, you slapped on a shitty book cover and expect me to think your book could wow me? What the fuck is wrong with you?

Of course I judge you by your book cover. I judge the quality of your writing, and more importantly, your taste – or should I say, your total lack of taste when you allowed such a laughable image to represent your written work. Your choice of picking a bad cover tells me all I need to know about how horrible you probably are as a writer.

So, like, no. These books are just to laugh at, I am not even reading the sample chapter.

In no particular order:

Really? The runner (On your marks, get set, go!) on a deserted road, out of focus, with the wolf in moon, and the terrible fonts? Really???

Ever heard of “less is more”?

Savior? Laughing my head off here. Even the model looks like he’s thinking, “huh”?

Are you blind? Can’t you see the proportions are stretched wrongly?

A woman of heart with this cover? A blank white sheet as background could still trump this.

Two photos of two women (one of them stretched into wrong proportions again) “standing firm”… you really are just trying to make me laugh, right?

Seriously this “author” has possibly never even read an ebook before. A horizontal cover??? And what, did you “design” this on Powerpoint?

Time and money are both precious to readers.

Stop raping my eyes with these atrocities as book covers.

 

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE? by Henry Farrell #BookReview #5stars #Gothic

This is gothic in its beautifully real hatred, regret and a houseful of secrets.

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? by Henry Farrell

Links on Amazon and Goodreads

What it’s about:

Baby Jane, a child star of early vaudeville, resented having to grow up in the shadow of her prettier sister Blanche Hudson, who became Hollywood’s reigning love goddess. Now, some fifty years later, they are together and alone. And reality has toppled crazily into eerie fantasy. Blanche now finds she is growing old in the shadow cast by Baby Jane — and a very sinister shadow it is.

. . . . .

My thoughts:

The word, “sinister” turns me on. Judge me as you want, but it does, every single time.

This, this is one of the best. Secrets, regrets, resentment, outright hatred, craziness but still a hint of love and possibilities. If you are all “sunshine” and happiness, read this. I hope you become more human in all its sinister, dark but real facets.

A modern gothic tale, but timeless.

The movie versions were brilliant as well. The original one in 1962 with Joan Crawford and Bette Davis was a fucking masterpiece, but the 1991 TV version with Lynn Redgrave and Vanessa Redgrave wasn’t half bad either.

But back to the book: 5 full stars.

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My review on Goodreads

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ROSEMARY’S BABY by Ira Levin #BookReview #5stars #Horror

Another great horror book.

Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin

Links on Amazon and Goodreads

What it’s about:

She is a housewife—young, healthy, blissfully happy. He is an actor—charismatic and ambitious. The spacious, sun-filled apartment on Manhattan’s Upper West Side is their dream home—a dream that turns into an unspeakable nightmare. . . .  Enter the chilling world of Ira Levin—where terror is as near as your new neighbors . . . and where evil wears the most innocent face of all. . . .

. . . . .

My thoughts:

This is one of those few books where I find myself thinking, hey the movie wasn’t half bad at all. In fact, it helped to picture Mia Farrow as Rosemary while I was reading the book (yeah yeah yeah, I watched the movie first, sue me).

There were many “What the fuck?” moments, in a good sense of the phrase.

The pace in the book was a bit slow, but still psychologically very satisfying to read.

I don’t care if you disagree, but I felt the ending in the movie was actually more mysterious and sinister and just right than the book’s ending. But, no matter what, there’s no doubt that this was a great horror novel.

5 stars.

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My review on Goodreads

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WAITING FOR GODOT by Samuel Beckett #BookReview #5stars #Play #Literary

No joke. This is a real masterpiece.

Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett

Links on Amazon and Goodreads

What it’s about:

From an inauspicious beginning at the tiny Left Bank Theatre de Babylone in 1953, followed by bewilderment among American and British audiences, Waiting for Godot has become of the most important and enigmatic plays of the past fifty years and a cornerstone of twentieth-century drama. As Clive Barnes wrote, “Time catches up with genius … Waiting for Godot is one of the masterpieces of the century.”

The story revolves around two seemingly homeless men waiting for someone—or something—named Godot. Vladimir and Estragon wait near a tree, inhabiting a drama spun of their own consciousness. The result is a comical wordplay of poetry, dreamscapes, and nonsense, which has been interpreted as mankind’s inexhaustible search for meaning. Beckett’s language pioneered an expressionistic minimalism that captured the existential post-World War II Europe. His play remains one of the most magical and beautiful allegories of our time.

. . . . .

My thoughts:

This was brilliant.

The fact that Beckett was shy in person but delivered great, moving speeches and wrote like a God only added to his books’ charms.

Who says whoever you are waiting for must appear in the end?

The journey is what things are about.

You find your own meaning in life. Start thinking. You don’t want to figure that out too late.

5 full stars.

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My review on Goodreads

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CARRIE by Stephen King #BookReview #5stars #Horror #Revenge @StephenKing

I may not be adding any original compliment but if I am starting a book blog, let my first post be about a book I fucking love.

Carrie by Stephen King

Links on Amazon and Goodreads

What it’s about:

The story of misfit high-school girl, Carrie White, who gradually discovers that she has telekinetic powers. Repressed by a domineering, ultra-religious mother and tormented by her peers at school, her efforts to fit in lead to a dramatic confrontation during the senior prom.

. . . . .

My thoughts:

Horror, yes, but sweet fucking revenge. I hated Carrie’s religious and control-freak of a mother, and I felt every slight and insult Carrie was heaped with at school.

That menstrual scene: my God (whether there is a God or not), I completely forgot that this was written by a man. How in the blue fuck did he envision something like that in a girls’ locker room?

All that hatred, that humiliation, and all that blood…

It almost killed me that such humiliation was endured by someone with such powers… all that was almost worth it in the final scene. Revenge. Sweet, glorious, beautiful, intense, fucking orgasmic revenge!

I love it. I worship it.

If you have even just one nerve ending in you, you can’t not feel and admire this book.

This is 10 stars out of a 5 star scale.

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My review on Goodreads

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What in the blue hell?

What in the blue hell am I doing here?

Sex crazed but depraved, I am starting a blog to talk about books and whatever else I fancy at the moment.

Warning: snarly female, been known to bite.

Brutally honest, often harsh. Read on and even subscribe to my viewpoints in the email, if you dare.